This picture is of the water on the window. It's been raining/snowing out here since late yesterday. The first real storm of the season.
Because of all of the white outside, it reminds me of the type of day that you build a fort out of old blankets, make some hot chocolate, and watch silly movies. The puppy and niece are having fun watching the snow come down. When I was young, I thought the world was magical when it was covered in snow. Sometimes it's good to remember that feeling.
I'm not overly fond of being cold. However, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Literally. So I took some shots before the snow storm tomorrow and thought that they turned out okie dokie. Here's one for your enjoyment.
There seems to be a lot of people talking about being authentic. So it's kind of a tired subject. Unless, you are the one trying to find your authentic self. Your real voice. For me, I've been told from a very young age that I was too much (insert anything) or not good enough. I'm slowly putting all of the pieces back together. The 5-year-old who was so excited to sing in Kindergarten and got laughed at. The 7-year-old who couldn't sit still in class because she had so much energy. The 12-year-old who couldn't keep up with her female friends' development and who still looked like a tom boy. All of the pieces that are strewn about geographically and psychologically. I keep inching towards that wonderous child who thought the world was magical. Having loved Dr. Seuss as a kid, I thought this quote was a good reminder to stay silly.
I'm homeless. Truly. I have been staying at other people's houses for over a year now. So I don't really have a place that I can call my own. I've been doing a lot of soul searching this past year. Including what is authentic about me. What should I be doing? What do I want to do? I look at this quote from Henry Miller and I think that it's hard for me to change my thinking. Isn't a home somewhere that has four walls and a roof? A working kitchen and bathroom? Shouldn't I be striving for one of those? But when I was part of the 9 to 5ers, I was so lost. Unhappy. And yet, if I want one of those concrete places called "home", I'm going to have to go back to the rat race. Back to being someone else.
I think that it's easy to talk about courage. But when faced with putting yourself back together or confronting an old enemy, it becomes a lot harder. Courage is an action word. Even walking away from a bad situation is still an action. I'm dedicating this post to someone who I think is very courageous. She doesn't stand for injustices and will stand up for herself when others put her down. Thanks Michele for being the very definition of courage!
